One of the things that will suffer a great deal after unfaithfulness is your own self-esteem. The questions of why your spouse cheated apparently set off a chain reaction. Suddenly it isn’t so much about what they did wrong as it is on how it made you feel. The answer to that is lousy.

Before you realize it you are running yourself down. If only you had done this or said that then your husband would not have strayed.. It’s not long before you take it to a new level.

A major portion of the trashing is the side-by-side assessment with the woman your husband cheated with. Whether you know her or have never laid eyes on this individual is not the issue. The point is you have put her on a level that in your mind you can never reach.

She is prettier or a much better listener when it comes to understanding your husband. Perhaps you feel she’s more intelligent than you are or has way more to offer than you could ever dream.

Rest assured none of this is true yet if your self confidence takes a hit you really start to believe these lies. If this is happening to you then do what you can to turn things around.

1. What Did You Say?

After infidelity the negative thoughts can easily take over. Why? That’s not an easy thing to answer but the fact of the matter is it happens. Try to monitor these thoughts very closely. If you need to then start a diary and jot down each time these negative images occur. Don’t generalize. Put down specifically what you are saying to you.

Ask yourself why it is telling you these things. Do this regularly and before long you will get rid of those thoughts.

2. Knock Her Off That Pedestal

Given that your husband cheated it’s not difficult to turn the woman he was cheating with into some sort of superwomen. She was all that and then some. If she was all of that then she would not feel the need to fool around with someone’s spouse. That’s a sure signs her sense of self worth is pretty low.

That does not mean you have to put her down to make you feel better about you. What it does mean is the next time those negative thoughts try putting her on a level above you then let the reality of what she and your spouse did bring her right back down to the ground.

3. Up You Go

As you successfully knock this person off the pedestal after your mate’s affair it’s only right that you climb up there. You have so much to offer. Tell yourself that again and again. Write it down and meditate on it. Eventually you will begin to believe it. Why? Because it is true.

For more information on making it through an affair go to marriage after an affair